you confirm it
editable transcript
granny shows the extracted conversation before using it, so you can correct names, speakers, and lines.
ai dating coach iphone
coming soon to iphone
ask granny
before you
text back.
the verdict — walk away
granny is an AI dating coach for iphone. she reads your dating screenshots, remembers every match, and tells you what to text back — blunt, warm, and allergic to sugar-coating.
early access · iphone · subscription at launch · no spam.
— already in line — get on the list before your group chat does. get on the list before your group chat does, sweetheart.
how it works · the wedge
show me
the receipts.
screenshot the chat. she reads every line and tells you what she sees — like she would at her kitchen table.
- 01
you screenshot the chat
tinder, hinge, bumble — any of them. she pulls out the conversation and you confirm it’s right.
- 02
she reads it securely
sent securely for a safety check and a model read. our database doesn’t keep the chat.
- 03
she marks the flags
red flags for trouble, green flags for the keepers — quoted straight from his own words.
- 04
you ask her anything
“what do i say back?” “is he worth another date?” she remembers every man you upload.
the verdict
she doesn’t
do “maybe.”
every match gets read and gets a verdict. one stamp, no fence-sitting. then the receipts to back it up.
“shows up, asks questions, remembers the answers. don’t overthink it.”
“charming, but watch the temper. give it a minute before you fall.”
“he’s running the playbook, sweetheart. that’s not affection, that’s a script.”
see two real verdicts, side by side
same granny.
two very
different men.
the bigger thing
it’s not screenshot
analysis. it’s a
relationship.
a verdict is the start. the real thing is the one who remembers — who notices the loop you’re in and says something before you text first. again.
she notices
your loops.
she watches across every match, not just one chat. “you give them three chances — two too many.” the patterns you can’t see in yourself, she’s been quietly keeping.
- tracks each match as it moves over time
- spots the mistake you keep repeating
- remembers what you told her you want
every sunday a letter from
a letter from
the kitchen table.
every sunday, granny writes. who moved, who held the line, who came crawling back — and exactly what she thinks about it. “when a man takes four days to say ‘miss you,’ that isn’t an apology, it’s a probe.”
she’ll text you first.
about to do the thing again — double-texting the one who never plans, ignoring the one who shows up? granny notices the thread stalling and nudges you before you make the move you’ll regret. that’s where she goes beyond a one-off chat.
built to show her work
proof, not
promises.
the useful parts are inspectable: you confirm what granny read, see the messages behind her take, and keep her notebook on your iPhone.
she shows her work
quoted receipts
her receipts point back to the messages that shaped the read, so you can check the reasoning for yourself.
your history stays local
notebook on your iPhone
match history, patterns, journal entries, and granny’s notes live in the app on your iPhone.
you set the heat
how blunt
do you want me?
pick a setting. she’ll hold to it — or you can change it whenever. try it on the same match:
three days in and already saying “i love you”? that’s not affection, sweetheart. that’s a script.
no fine print
let’s be honest
about how
this works.
granny won’t pretend the cloud isn’t involved. here’s what leaves your phone, what stays there, and what delete actually does.
your chats are sent to be read
to read them, granny sends your conversations securely through our gateway to a cloud AI. not magic — the cloud is part of the read. honest.
the notebook lives on your phone
everything she learns about you — verdicts, patterns, history — stays in local memory on your device. not on a server.
delete means delete
“forget me entirely” wipes the notebook after our server accepts the request and starts permanent account deletion. unfinished provider deletes keep retrying.
your notebook stays local. our database doesn’t keep your chats. no selling.
the skeptic’s corner
ask before
you sign up.
what is granny?
Granny is an AI dating coach for iPhone with the personality of a blunt, warm grandmother, built by Peeled Banana, an independent studio in Austin. You screenshot a conversation from Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, or iMessage; Granny reads it, flags the red and green signals, gives a verdict — walk, keeper, or wait — and remembers your dating patterns over time. Her notebook about you lives on your phone.
is this just chatgpt in a costume?
not quite. general chatbots can have memory, but granny is built around your dating life: structured match histories, verdicts, flags, dealbreakers, and the way each connection changes over time. she notices the loop you’re repeating and brings it up. the character and that dating-specific notebook are the product.
who sees my screenshots — is my stuff safe?
the honest version: your conversations are sent securely for a safety check and through our gateway to a cloud AI so granny can read them. we don’t keep the conversation content in our database, sell it, or use it to build a granny training dataset. what she learns lives on your phone, and “forget me entirely” wipes the notebook after our server accepts the request and starts permanent account and server-data deletion, with durable retries if a provider is temporarily unavailable. see the full promise →
does she actually remember, or is that marketing?
she remembers. every match gets a spot in her notebook, and she pulls the history back up when it matters — in a verdict, in the sunday letter, and especially when you’re about to repeat an old mistake.
can granny tell if someone is love bombing me?
granny can flag messages that look consistent with common love-bombing patterns, along with breadcrumbing, future faking, the slow fade, hot and cold behavior, and gaslighting. she points to the exact messages and explains the read, but a pattern is not proof of someone’s intent or a diagnosis.
which apps can she read?
any of them — tinder, hinge, bumble, the rest. if you can screenshot the chat, granny can read it and pull out the conversation for you to confirm.
is granny a real therapist?
no — granny is an AI coach with a point of view, not a licensed therapist, matchmaker, or crisis line. take her like you’d take advice from the sharpest woman at the table: seriously, but it’s yours to use. if things get heavy, please talk to someone real.
what does it cost, and is it only on iphone?
granny will launch on iPhone as a paid subscription. final plans, pricing, renewal terms, and any introductory offer will be shown before you subscribe. joining the waitlist is free. Android is on the wish list.
who makes granny?
peeled banana is an independent software studio in austin. granny is designed and built by hatef kasraei, who is reachable at hello@peeledbanana.com.
before you trust me
granny, straight up.
no act, no fine print. here’s exactly what you’re signing up for — and what you’re not.
what i am
- a blunt, funny coach with a real memory of your dating life
- honestly on your side — even when the truth stings a little
- clear about what leaves your phone and what stays there
- free to join the waitlist, with plans shown before you subscribe
what i’m not
- a licensed therapist or a crisis line
- affiliated with tinder, hinge, bumble or any dating app
- a place your chats get sold or turned into public content
- a reason to stop trusting your own gut
built by peeled banana studio, an independent studio run by hatef in austin. and a soft word, sweetheart: granny’s for the texting games — not the heavy stuff. if things get hard, please talk to someone real.
okay. go text
him back.
…after you ask me. join the waitlist and granny’s yours the day the door opens.
— already in line — get on the list before your group chat does. get on the list before your group chat does, sweetheart.
free to join · onboarding in waves · delete anytime